I’ve been feeling really unhappy with my current relations

I’ve been feeling really unhappy with my current relationship due to a lot of things that have happened in the past 3 years of me being in it, but I don’t know how to bring it up to him or to his family since I work with his family. I’ve been wanting this relationship to work and hoping for change, but nothing ever does and I don’t know if I can be happy in this relationship unfortunately. I’m always walking on eggshells, and I’ve lost a few friends cause of him disliking them and have felt scared to do the things I want to do/wear the things I want to wear with him making fun of me, humiliating me, or saying the things I want to do are dumb or stupid. He also hates on my interests a lot (some as innocent as liking the kpop group BTS) and saying how the things I like are immature and the things he likes are superior. Like idk, he’s not very open minded, open to experiences, and he’s really impatient and ignorant sometimes. I just don’t know what to do, and he’s said a lot of hurtful things to me. I’m a psychology major in college and he said how I wouldn’t be one if I wasn’t for him (when I wanted to major in this field before I met him) and how “no one wants a mentally ill therapist” since I have depression and was having a breakdown. I don’t know, I always feel below him and that I can’t really be myself/do the things I want to do/say without upsetting him.

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May 8

I think I’m also just clutching onto the good memories I’ve had with him, the moments where love was present and we were happy, but a lot of the time those moments are followed by or followed up by constant arguments or mishaps. It’s also hard since he gave me a promise ring, yet I don’t know if I really want a future with him. It really hurts to say since some of the things he says is really hurtful, and I don’t know if I would want to marry him or start a family with him.

May 8

@cherryalpaca I think you know exactly what you need to do for yourself it's just a hard thing to do for anyone. Like you said, you're clutching onto the good memories you ise to have.
I'm sure he is very insecure or he wouldn't feel the need to put you down all the time, in fact it sounds like emotional abuse. I'd rather have a therapist that has dealt with depression and a breakdown than a narcissistic emotional abuser.
When things are that toxic there is no fixing it. He would have to be willing to do a major overhaul on himself. In my opinion if you marry him it will get worse. He sounds really mean and controlling. If you decide to end things with him I would make a plan first. So you work with his family huh? How would you feel about looking for another job?
Another thought, just think how he would be if you had kids with him..he would be putting you down about how you're mothering your baby and worse he could hold your kids over your head such as.. if you don't do what I say I'll do xyz with the kids. It would be a total nightmare to have kids with a person like that. He isn't fun and loving he's abusive. You sound like a very level headed person I'm sure you can come up with a good plan. Hugs

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May 16

As I read through your post it seems to me that you have already
answered your own questions. But only you can decide and carry out
what needs to be done.
Think about this. You have the rest of your life before you. What
are you willing to do to make your life work? No job is worth
selling yourself. There are other jobs and no one is holding you
hostage. It is going to be tough, I think, so I am praying for you
to find peace, joy and fulfillment.
You are a precious person with much to offer the world. I pray
that you will find your destiny and have the courage and strength
to carry through on the road to healing and fulfillment.
Marriage is about finding the person with whom you will each be a
better person because of your relationship. The book Ready To Wed
by Greg and Erin Smalley might help you to put things in
perspective. God bless you.


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